Feed My Frankenstein
by xxbeyondxbirthdayxx
Summary: The multichaptered thing supposed to host all these things I have in mind that can't make it to a full oneshot or are the cut parts of my other multichaptered fics. Why this title? Because the crack I'll put here is what feeds my brain. It's alive, alive!
1. Distractingly Sexy

_**Note:** The multichaptered thing supposed to host all these little things I have in mind that can't make it to a full oneshot or are the cut parts of my other multichaptered fics ^^  
The title is a song by Alice Cooper. Why this title? Because the crack I'll put here is what feeds my brain. It's alive, alive!! XD Hum... sorry..._  


* * *

Matt was sat on the floor, utterly focused on the TV screen, when Mello entered the room, totally naked.  
The blond stopped right in the space between Matt and the TV, a fist on his right hip, his face expressionless. After exactly three seconds, he left.

Ten seconds later, he came back, fully dressed (of course, Mello doesn't need more than ten seconds to go commando under leather pants and just a zipped sleeveless vest), and knelt behind Matt. The TV was still on, he still held his joystick, in his unmoving hands, his mouth slightly open.

Mello slid a hand in Matt's lap, groping his crotch.  
"Fine." the blond said, standing and walking to his desk, preparing himself to work on his laptop.

"M... Mello?" Matt finally said, questioning his boyfriend's sudden attitude as he turned to look at him, averting his eyes from the TV screen as his hand unconsciously rubbed his hard on.

"Just wanted to make sure I'm still distractingly sexy." Mello replied, launching his operating system.


	2. Kira killed Santa!

_**Note:** That was supposed to be a oneshot for Christmas, but I've been busy as hell, it's only 34 minutes before Christmas is officially over here in France and I'm so tired I'm gonna die, I've only had 5 hours of sleep in the last 72h.  
And it's a poor attempt to make a dialog-only fic. So as it's not good enough to be a separate oneshot and it's too late/I don't want/whatever to work on it anymore, you get it raw. But Merry Christmas anyway!!_

* * *

"This is an official information that we just received from our reporter in Lapland. Yes, Santa Claus is dead, killed by Kira himself. From our source, Santa wrote a message in the snow before sliding in his chimney, that was lit at the moment, resulting in an awful agony in the fire before he passed away. The message said: "Kira is God, Kira hates Christmas.", letting no doubt about the origin of the death. Our reporter, Clark Liam, is on air from Lapland, Clark, can you hear me?"

"Yes Truman, I hear you. I'm right now in Santa's factory, among his elves, and let me tell you that everyone here is totally devastated by the news. Here is Elora, who works on the teddybears chain. Elora, can you give me your feeling about what just happened? And what will become of Christmas now that the icon of this celebration himself has disappeared? This is a great loss, and I guess that in the middle of your mourning, it is difficult to keep up with the duty that was Santa's without him. But do you have a B plan for such a situation? ..."

"This is incredible..." L stated, chewing his thumb, lightly rocking back and forth, crouched on the couch, watching the daily news with great attention.  
"This is such a nightmare, especially for children all over the world..." Watari replied, sighing as he handed a plate where he had just placed a huge strawberry cake piece to the detective.

The crying elf hiccuped several times before managing to utter a few words: "It's so horrible! How can someone hate Christmas?!" She wiped her eyes, trying to regain composure as another male elf approached to support her.  
"Please, this is not the moment, and you shouldn't be here." he said, encircling Elora's shoulders and leading her away. "Go away!" he yelled from the distance.

"Lloyd, I'm going to try to talk to someone else, but as you can see, they're all pretty shaken by the event and it's hard to get someone to agree to tell me a few words."  
"This is understandable Clark, that's really bad news and our phone lines are assaulted as you can guess. Parents are asking us what's going to happen since Christmas is coming in two days and their children are horrified now that there's no one to distribute presents anymore. Santa was supposed immortal, but it seems not even him could resist Kira, but then, we are left without Christmas' icon himself. The great question is, Clark, is Christmas dead? Can someone from Santa's staff tell us?"  
"The elves have just begun to gather around someone that seems important, Lloyd, I'm going to try to approach and hear what they're saying, and maybe question this person. ...I'm close, and I'm seeing the man now. He's an elf too... no... maybe a dwarf, I don't know, but he seems to be in charge here... Ah! Excuse me Sir. Hello? I'm Clark Liam, reporter for the Daily News for ZNews Channel. Can I ask you a few questions, please?"

"Hello. Well, I guess we'll have to make it official anytime soon, so your channel or any other will do. I am Grumpa, I'm Santa's lawyer, and I'm here to apply his testament."  
"But how come Father Christmas himself had a testament since he was supposed immortal?"  
"Being immortal means that no matter how much you age, you don't die, it has never meant you couldn't be killed."  
"So, are you going to tell us about this testament, or at least if there's still hope for all the children watching us now and eager to know if Christmas is still happening or not? Will the elves take over and make the distribution?"  
"I know that what just happened will lead to the greatest mourning in the world's history, therefore, and to prevent a general panic, I am officially announcing that Santa Claus' last will was that the most powerful person in the world will be the next Father Christmas. He has decided that on the knowledge that this person has support in all areas of the planet, and can put in action anything and anyone thanks to this, he is the only one able to take this duty over."  
"Did Santa state the identity of this person, or is it left to your appreciation, as you are his lawyer? Or will it eventually lead to a massive referendum?"  
"The identity is known, and although Santa had decided on his own, we here, elves, dwarves and deer were totally agreeing with his choice."  
"Are you planning on making this person's identity official right now? We all want to know who's the next Father Christmas."  
"The person going to take Santa's work over isn't destined to be the new Christmas icon, since he can't use magic to distribute the presents to all children all over the world in one single night, unlike Santa who could use his supernatural powers for this duty to be achieved in time, so he will need to organize the distribution at an international rate with the help of many other people. It wouldn't be fair to star one person only, in that case."

"We're eager to know, please, don't let the suspense last any longer. Who is this person?"

"The only person able to take over is L, the great detective."

* * *

"Me-lloooooo, I'm coooold!"  
"Shut up and help me carry this bag, it's so fucking heavy!"  
"But Mellooooo I hate walking in the snow!"  
"Matt, if you don't move your lazy ass right now, L's gonna be mad at us for not distributing these presents and I won't get the chocolate he promised. And if I don't get it, you know what it means."  
"Oh yeah, I know too damn well, you're gonna be PMSing like a thousand chicks and you're gonna take it out on me."  
"Matt."  
"And then you're gonna be horny like hell and you're gonna use me as your personal pet."  
"Matt."  
"And I won't be able to walk for three days after tha... OW!"  
"You deserved it. Now move."

"No way, I'm not sliding down this chimney."  
"Matt. Go. In. Now."  
"Why don't you go, Mel?"  
"Because you're skinnier than me."  
"Because I don't eat chocolate all the time."  
"Are you insinuating I am fat?"  
"No. You're perfectly toned and you know it. And I know it too..."  
"Matt, take your hands off me and go put this package in this house before they wake up."  
"It's not like you to decline, Mel."  
"I'm not declining, I'm delaying."

"Mello!!!"  
"Let yourself slide down!"  
"But I'm stuck! I can't go any further!!"  
"I told you to remove your goddamn jacket!"  
"Stop pushing me, it hurts! Help me get out!"  
"No way, it's already six in the morning and we have two other houses to visit."  
"I'm feeling dizzy."  
"Why did you have to go in head first?"  
"You pushed me!!"  
"No I didn't."  
"Yes you did! And now I'm stuck head down and ass in the air, and I can't even move! ...Mel? MEL! What are you doing??!!"  
"I don't like to delay too much."  
"MEL!! Do you want my balls to freeze and fall off or what? Put my pants back!!"  
"As soon as I'm finished with you Matt, don't worry..."  
"Mello!! You're not going to... MEL!! Ah! Oh... Mmh... Mel... Aaah! Oh fuck, you're crazy!"  
"Mmh Matt... you're so tight..."  
"Mellooo... Ahn... taking... mmh... advantage of me like... Oh!... this..."  
"Ah Matt... oh mmmh..."  
"Mmh! Oh fuck yeah! Mel... AAAAAaaahhh!!!!!"  
"Matt? Are you ok?"  
"I scratched my dick on the chimney tiles!"  
"Put the presents at the foot of the tree and hurry up back on the roof!! I hear noise!"

"Mel, why did L only give us three houses to visit? He gave at least fifty to Near, and he even gave more than us to Linda."  
"Maybe because it's already eight in the morning, that we only just finished, although he sent us for the Christmas presents distribution at ten last evening?"


	3. The Day I die

"Mello, would you tell me you love me if I was about to die?"  
"No."  
"Would you give me a last kiss?"  
"No."  
"Come on! Would you at least give me some of your chocolate?"  
"NO!"  
"You would just let me die like a dog?! I thought you would at least do that for me the day I die, Mels..."  
"No."  
"*sigh*"  
"Matt you fucktard, if you were about to die, I wouldn't give a shit about saying stupid words or kissing you or feeding you, I'd try to save you, you jerk."


	4. Lovebird

Sometimes, Matt's actions are beyond my understanding. Ok, we are both flaming gays, but why does Matt have to be _so_ gay?  
Like when I send him buy pens, notebooks or toilet paper, or whatever we need, Matt always comes back with something pink. We now have pink pens, pink notebooks, pink toilet paper, pink towels, pink cups, pink glasses, pink soap, pink, pink, pink...

Sometimes, he pushes it so far as to do gay stuff. Like now. Reading Miss Popteen magazine (insert facepalm here).

"Mel? Let's make this test, it's funny!"  
"What test?"  
"From the magazine!"  
"Hmpf..."  
"If I was an animal, what do you think I would be? i'm sure you're gonna say a dog! I check B. And you, what would you be? Mmh, let me think... a cat, I guess. D."  
"No, yes."  
"What?"  
"No, I wouldn't say you're a dog, and yes, I would probably be a cat."  
"Huh? Not a dog? What then? Not a cat. And the two other possible answers are a monkey and a bird."  
"Then a bird."  
"And will you go as far as to explain why? I'm curious now Mel."

And although he looks at me with his puppy eyes right now, I can't help but see him as a bird.

"Because beside the fact that you're always as joyful as a canary, and babbling like a parrot, you're also as graceful as a swan, always sailing on the dark water that is our life without losing anything of your beauty, that no matter how much I burn you with all the hurts in my words and actions sometimes, you always come back to life like a phenix, each time more beautiful. You always spread your wings over me, and you always treat me like a mother bird with her fragile eggs, you comfort me, you take care of me, you even nurse me when I'm injured, you make of this apartment a nest where I love to run to when it's too hard for me outside, and no matter what you say all day long, the sound of your voice is like hearing the singing of a bird, it makes me happy, it's like telling spring has arrived and with you, flowers bloom even in winter suddenly. You're my lovebird, Mattie."

And I stand up, depositing a quick peck on his forehead, leaving him speechless and mouth hanging open as he stares at me for a few seconds, then burst in laughters.

Well, if any bird can compare, that is...


	5. Natural Born Criminals

"Mello, have you ever wondered why Wammy's kept us at the orphanage?"  
"Of course you dumbass, we are genius, that was the whole purpose of this place. Why do you ask?"  
"Because I knew you didn't know the real reason, I wanted to make sure..."  
"The real reason? What are you talking about?"  
"When we left, after L died, Roger told me something and made me promise I would not tell you until the Kira case is solved."  
"The Kira case isn't solved so why bringing up the topic now of all moments?"  
"Mello... we are probably gonna die while abducting Takada tomorrow, so I thought it was the right time to tell you this... and something else..."  
"Spit it up already then!"

Matt straightened a bit in his seat, turning to face Mello completely, so they were only a few inches away.

"Wammy didn't keep us there only because we were geniuses, not with our attitude, Roger told me we should have been thrown out of there like, if you remember, Ike was, we were something like 12 at the time. You were a worse bully than Ike, and I didn't study but play video games all the time, and being ranked second and third didn't mean nothing in that case, Ike was 4th after all.  
No, the reason why he kept us was because we were the only ones that didn't have the potential to be detectives, but criminals... Actually, Wammy was persuaded that if he didn't put barriers around us like he did, we'd probably become the worst criminals ever, with your temper, and my poor moral sense, and our freaking minds..."

Mello stayed silent for a moment, deeply thinking.

"You know Matt... the worst in all that is that it's probably true..." he finally said, his face glowing sadness.  
"What? I thought you would burst in fury knowing that."  
"If you look at it, I'm in the Mafia Matt, so yes, I'm a criminal, and you're helping me out, so you are too..."  
"Well, technically, Kira didn't leave us the choice..."  
"There's one more thing Matt... I'm soon going to be responsible for your death, eventually, and even if you agreed to follow me, I don't feel less guilty for that... I don't care about the rest, but this is the sole thing I will consider making me a criminal, Matt. The rest was bullshit to me, but I value your life, no matter how many times I yelled at you and made you feel like shit..."  
"Oh... time for speaking your heart out? It's not like you Mello, but I appreciate."

Matt smiled, Mello answering weakly by a pat on his shoulder.

"What was the 'something else' Matt, you had something else to tell me."  
"Well... yeah... I knew it would somehow come to speak our hearts out in such a situation, and with tomorrow... so..."  
"So?"  
"I... well... I'm happy to be the first real victim of Mello the Ripper!"  
"Matt. Seriously."  
"Sorry... but I meant something like that... I would die for you Mello, and happily, that is. Whether you survive, and then I at least will have been useful enough to keep you alive, whether you die, and then we'll be together in whatever is waiting for us after life, everything seems fine to me..."

Mello smiled, and suddenly took Matt's hands in his.

"So... I value your life, and you'd die for me... I guess it's our freaking indirect way to say 'I love you'."

Matt blushed deep red, but grinned like he never did before. He leant a bit and kissed Mello softly, his lips lingering a few seconds on the blond's.

"But I don't have any other freaking indirect way to kiss you."


	6. Finding Excuses

"23 minutes and 14 seconds. You lost Mello." Matt said, stopping the timer.  
"Come on, I only lost by 2 minutes." Mello replied, rolling on his side and wiping the sweat on his forehead.  
"It's still 2 minutes. No matter what you do, you're always second, hun." the redhead winked at him, readying himself for th blow to come.  
But Mello didn't even falter or get angry, to his great surprise.

"If you look at it carefully, actually, I won." the blond began to explain.  
"No matter how I look at it, you've still lost, and trying to find excuses won't change anything. Why can't you accept that I'm better than you in this domain, Mels?"  
"Because you're not. Video games, ok, ruining your life by smoking your lungs out, ok, but sex is my part, I'm the sexiest, the wildest..."  
"The worst loser..."  
"Matt! Look, each time I'm on top, I finish you off faster than you finish me off, and this for the only, and very good reason that I'm the best. It's not a question of lasting longer than the other, it's that I'm so good, so experienced and so skilled that you can't last long, and that's why you come faster than I do when you're on top. See?"  
Matt seemed to think for a few seconds before he grinned, turning to lay on top of his lover.

"You know Mello, I could almost believe you, because on top of it all, you're really the best at finding excuses." Matt pecked Mello's lips, "But right now, what you're going to have to find excuses for, and they're better be pretty damn convincing, is the fact that you're 'so experienced'. I was supposed to be your first, so tell me hun, what does that mean, huh?"


	7. Dark Secret

Especially for **lovelyblackheart** who requested a sequel to the previous chapter!  


* * *

Mello shifted a bit, making Matt fall back beside him.  
"How can you believe I would have lied to you about being my first?"  
"So then, where does your oh-so-great experience come from, tell me?"

Matt knew by the look in Mello's eyes that the blond wasn't lying. But he was intrigued, and most of all, amused, that Mello seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden.  
Usually, Mello would simply brush it off, moreover if he wasn't lying, and fuck Matt's brains out, making the redhead lose his train of thoughts.

"Well... you can get experience by many ways, not by actually _practicing_..."  
"Mello, jerking off doesn't count."  
"I wasn't talking about that..."  
"So what is it Mels, tell me! Is that a dark secret or what?"

Matt had a hard time refraining the fear growing in his guts. Mello seemed alarmed now, and he suddenly hoped he hadn't put the finger on something from Mello's past, something hurtful, a bad memory.

"Promise me you will still love me after that..." Mello said dramatically.  
As much as Matt's mind was thinking that you can't make such a promise because you never know in advance if a dark secret can make you fall out of love, he kept his mouth shut. Like he could stop loving Mello anyway. But he was beginning to be really scared.

Bending over the border of the bed, Mello rummaged in his night stand.  
And he handed a book to Matt: 'Gay Sex for Dummies'.


	8. Geeks in Heaven

_**Note: **Inspired by the flood of fics from yesterday. I'm not making fun of the people that posted fics for Matt and Mello's canon death day, it's just for fuuuuun, don't take it bad! This chapter is already bad enough XD_  


* * *

Somewhere on a puffy white cloud, above our heads...

"Hey Mels, look!"  
"Mmh?"  
"Have you seen the number of fics posted on FanFiction yesterday, for our canon death day?"  
"Why the hell did people post fics especially yesterday?"  
"Because they love us, you dumbass!"  
"They don't post the other days?"  
"They do, but not that much..."  
"Well, that's something we have that at least Near won't have."  
"What?"  
"The albino sheep didn't die in canon, remember?"  
"Isn't that a bit creepy to be first over him because we died?"  
"It can't be creepier than you plugging your laptop on a fucking star! If someone had told me that stars die in the sky because all the geeks present in heaven suck their energy for their stupid devices, I would never have believed it..."  
"You're only jealous that there's no chocolate here..."  
"When I told you I would go to hell..."  
"You never thought that your hell and my heaven would be the same place, did you?"


	9. Blood Brothers

_**Note:** Inspired by a conversation about AIDS with Dlvvanzor._  


* * *

"Mello!"  
The redhead ran like a madman, tripping on the large pieces of wood and concrete scattered all over the place. He couldn't see farther than one or two feet in front of him, the smoke and dust attacking his eyes as well as his lungs, his throat beginning to contract in painful coughs as he began to lack air.  
"Mello!! Where are you! Mello! Answer me damnit!!"  
He was in panic. Never had he been so scared, so desperate. His lover was somewhere in there. He wasn't a believer, but for once, he prayed for Mello to be alive, to wait for him to save him... He couldn't lose him, not that way!

"M...Ma-att..."  
The call was almost inaudible, but in the silent disaster, it sounded like a cry to Matt.  
As quickly as he could, he closed the distance between him and where the sound came from, tears running on his cheeks, both from worry and relief. There was a hope.

Matt knelt. He took away, piece by piece, every morcel of the ceiling covering his lover's body. Little by little, the heart wrenching sight revealed itself to his loving eyes. Second after second, his heart fell lower in his stomach, until he could pull Mello's body in his arms. Mello's burnt, swollen, cut and bruised body.

"Mello... why did you have to do that!"  
Matt cried, hunched over the blond's body, rocking him back and forth like a newborn.  
"Mm...att... be careful..."  
"I have to bring you home, I have to carry you, it's gonna hurt... I'm sorry..."  
"No... I... m...mean... be careful of... the b...blood..."

Matt looked at his lover. There were many times he had almost lost Mello.  
When the blond had decided to play with fireworks, when they were eight.  
When Mello had had this motorbike accident, one year ago.  
When he was transfused because of the blood loss during the accident, and made an allergic reaction to the transfusion.  
And now that he had blown himself off with his hideout.

And Matt realised that Mello had survived all that. But that there was one thing he may not survive. And that himself wouldn't survive Mello's death.

Matt bit his lower lip, hard. And once he tasted blood, he looked at his boyfriend in his arms.  
"Yeah, but be careful not to die without me..." Matt whispered, leaning to kiss Mello's bloody lips.


	10. Happy Birthday Mail!

_**Note:** Happy Birthday Matt! No, You're not dead!_  


* * *

Matt opened the door of the apartment he shared with Mello, awaiting any surprise the blond could have prepared to blow at his face anytime as he pushed the door open, careful to step in only once he had looked all over the place from the doorstep. Nothing.  
Mello had a strange idea of a birthday surprise, and Matt had finished at the emergencies the previous year because Mello had tried to decorate the whole living room with balloons, but you don't fill them with methan, dammit! And when Matt had played with them, a lit cigarette dangling from his lips... BANG! It was hopeful he had goggles, but on top of that, Mello had made fun of his very short haircut during all the weeks it had taken Matt's hair to grow back to normal.

Carefully, he stepped in.  
"Mello?"  
"Hey Matt."

Matt's jaw dropped to the floor when Mello exited their bedroom, walking toward the redhead.

He was totally naked. Not that Matt had never seen him in his birthday suit, but...  
Mello had shaved it all. Yes, _all_. He wasn't that hairy, but even the fair hairs of his calves had been removed, and the blond's skin was totally smooth. Everywhere. Only remained his beautiful golden hair, and right eyebrow (since the left one had disappeared under the scar.)

And his skin had a shiny hue, urging Matt to touch it. That's when he noticed that Mello had sprayed a lilac smelling massage oil all over himself. Matt's favorite smell after chocolate and Mello's skin.

Slowly, Mello undressed Matt, before spraying some massage oil all over the redhead. Then he began grinding against him, their greasy skin making the contact slippery and sticky, creating a sweet friction, and a delicious sensation.

And then, Mello kissed Matt, sensually, sliding his tongue in the redhead's mouth.  
Matt withdrew with surprise, and brought his fingers to his lips, taking the intruding item between his thumb and index. A golden ring.  
"Marry me, Mail." Mello whispered, his eyes tender and loving.  
"Oh fuck Mello! Yes!"

Matt jumped of joy. Unfortunately, the massage oil didn't forgive the move, and the redhead ended sprawled on the floor, on his back.

"M...el..lo... call an... amb...ulance..."

This year, Matt had a fiançailles ring and a broken leg for his birthday.


	11. Geeks like it this way

Matt parked his cherry red Camaro in the parking lot in front of the apartment complex, slammed the driver's door, entered the building like a tornado, rushed upstairs, fiddled with his keys nervously before pushing the door open, making it slam noisily against the wall, crossed the apartment running, catching Mello by the hand on his way to the bedroom, and landed on the bed on top of the blond.  
Then he almost tore Mello's leather to bare his body, and suddenly pushed himself inside of Mello's entrance, sighing in relief.  
Mello smiled, toying with a strand of copper hair.  
"I like it when it's plug and play..." the redhead smiled.


	12. Snoring

_**Note: **heh. I don't know where that came from... but I had to share that piece of fail with you XD._  


* * *

Matt snores. Very loudly.  
But Mello loves it. Because the night is too quiet, all the time. Because in the dark, he can't see Matt. But at least, he hears him.  
Mat's snoring is comforting. But still, Mello is a bit worried at the thought of the size of Matt's adenoids.


	13. Elements

Matt POV  


* * *

Out of the four elements, I have always thought of Mello as fire, for obvious reasons.

Mello could've been born of air. He's free, light as a feather, once here, then gone, as quick as the wind, as violent as a tornado, unreachable sometimes, unchained, inattachable, whirling and blowing, drying prosperous lands to a marsian landscape.

Or moulded in earth, strong, natural, raw edges of a body moving like a snake on the ground, mineral eyes telling tales of a mind as tangled as roots firmly anchored in loam.

Maybe even emerged from water, his aphrodite's curves swaying in a catwalk like the goddess out of the sea, his eyes deep and clear as a calm lake, irises telling you immediately that the calm is only apparent, a bermuda triangle swallowing you as you stare too long, knocking you out like a waterfall.

But Mello is fire.  
Because of all the obvious reasons related to the explosion, his scar, the way he keeps going even when he's exhausted... all those reasons I don't need to explain.  
But mainly for a reason unknown to the world, kept between him and me and the walls of our crappy apartment, something that not even Near knows.

Mello is fire because it only takes a single tear from my watering eyes to make Mello's fire die.


	14. Everything

_**Note:** 'Everything' was originally posted here, but Dlvvanzor told me it should be posted as a oneshot so, as she always has good advices, I listened to her :)  
So you'll find what was previously here in my fics list under the same title: Everything.  
_


	15. Night Breeze

_**Note:** I guess I should be ashamed... but I'm not. Yay for ruining Mello's image. Sorry but it was in my mind for too long, and I'm, for the first time in my life, taking free time at work. Too tired, too hot, I need an escape.  
_

* * *

I watch them. I stare at them. I drool at their sight and I venerate them.  
When Mello sleeps, always naked, the sheets pooling at the foot of the bed, delivering their perfect shape to my eyes, I only have eyes for Mello's buttcheeks.

Round, peach colored, they even look like the sweet fruit's skin with the light soft duvet, and I almost could bite them for a piece of heaven.  
I'm obsessed.  
I imagine my hands roaming over them, feeling the light muscles, caressing them like a precious fabric, afraid to damage them with my calloused fingers.

He moves slightly in his sleep, and they follow, rolling, teasing me. I want my hands on them, my lips, my tongue, I can almost taste the salt of his skin, my mind turning it into peach juice as saliva wets my mouth excessively.

But I never dare.  
Because Mello farts when he sleeps.


	16. Healthy Diet

_**Note:** I'm trying to see if I can post a chapter of Feed My Frankenstein everyday. I miss writing but my work schedule won't let me update long chapters of my other fics so I'm making up for it here.  
_

* * *

It's common knowledge that Mello and I are skinny as twigs.  
Roger always used to scold us for not eating proper meals at Wammy's cafeteria. It was true. Most of the time we didn't show up there, prefering to steal junk food in the kitchen, mostly for the fun of stealing more than for the food itself, or when we did, it was only on friday, aka pizza day.

When I started smoking, it became worse for me, just like Mello's temper rising with teenagehood made it worse for him. We used a lot of health and energy on my bad habit and his tantrums, and we grew (well, if I can use that word considering how short we are) like plants in the desert: with the few supplies we gave our bodies.

So when Mello and I finally admitted our feelings for each other, and that we got caught by Roger one night, while we were engaged in a hot sixty nine on my bed, all we managed to come with as an excuse was that for once, Roger should be happy, we were swallowing proteins.


	17. Riding High

Actually, Matt has never liked his goggles. He never wanted to wear those stupid tainted fly-eyes-like glasses. The colors of the world were all mixed and changed, and he hated orange. The plastic would scratch and when they became too old, he couldn't even see properly through them. The rubberband would mess his hair and sometimes even entangle so much in it that he would need to pull so hard he would lose some. The rubber encircling each of his eyes would stick in summer and leave red marks in winter, irritating his skin.

It was Mello who forced him to wear them. Because there was no way someone else than _him_ would see Matt's deep blue eyes. Mello knew all too well what those eyes could do. They melted people to a puddle. They made girls and guys alike follow Matt to the door of the apartment. They made the cashier from the 7eleven down the street stare wide eyed at HIS boyfriend. They even almost got Matt raped.

So no, there was no way anyone would see Matt's eyes other than Mello.  
And as an added bonus, they made him look like a Top Gun guy, which was number one on Mello's fantasies' list.  
"Yeah Matt... come here... take my breath away."  


* * *

_**Note:** you need to know the Top Gun movie and the main theme song to understand, I guess... not that I'm a fan of the movie or the song actually. Ok, this one's pretty bad, sorry._


	18. Baby You Can Drive My Car

"GODAMN FUCKING SHIT OF A MOTHERFUCKING SUCKER!"  
"Mello."  
"MOVE! HOLY SHIT! IT'S GREEN!"  
"Mello."  
"DO YOU NEED ME TO PUSH YOU SON OF A B..."  
"MELLO!"  
"WHAT? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO DRIVE, IF THOSE FUCKTARDS DEIGN TO MOVE THEIR LAZY ASS BEFORE IT GETS RED AGAIN? OH! NICE! IT'S RED AGAIN! BASTARD! DO YOU THINK I HAVE ALL DAY?"  
"Mello, you're waiting in the parking lane."


	19. Scratching Mello's Pride Again

Living with Mello is... entertaining to the least. Oh, even if you take the temper, the general attitude of a tasmanian devil away, the gunshots in the walls when he's angry, the shouting, the tantrums, the wild sex and all... it's still very amusing.

Particularly when he's about to take a dump.  
Because Mello is so full of himself, so proud, so _precious _that he can't begin to imagine people thinking he actually goes to the toilets...  
Yeah... I know... even the Pope goes to the toilets Mello, it's not a shame!

So everyday after breakfast (yeah, he's that regular, and that makes things even funnier since there's no doubting why he disappears once he has swallowed his last gulp of coffee), I prepare myself to witness a new glimpse of Mello's imagination.

The first times, he just pretended he went to brush his teeth, which seemed a normal thing to do after having breakfast. Until I heard a "splootch" that definitely wasn't a toothbrush falling in the sink. Not that I cared, everyone is the same when it comes to natural needs.  
But one day there was no toilet paper left. I slid some journal paper under the bathroom door when I didn't see Mello come out, guessing his problem, and Mello knew the thruth was revealed.

That's when it became funny.

First he used the basic shower noise, or waited that I went out. But this last didn't work well because you know what happens when number two's at the door.  
You name it: farts. And seeing Mello try to contain them and failing... no, you don't want to see that. _I _don't want to see that.

Now the show begins...

**Take one: The house fairy.**  
Mello pretended to clean the apartment and decided all of a sudden that it was time to use the vacuum cleaner. Ok. It's not like I was being super careful with the crisps I ate on a regular basis so it was believable.  
But not three days in a row. And not when Mello suddenly goes to take some carpet cleaner in the bathroom just once he started the engine, cleaner that we don't have to begin with. And of course fails to find it for ten minutes. And I hear the flush of the toilets just as I switch the engine off because it's on and unused.

**Take two: Let's send Matt buy groceries.**  
It didn't work because I forgot my cigarettes, came back into the apartment two minutes after I left, and Mello was taking a dump _with the door of the bathroom open_...  
I never, ever heard him yell so loud, and will never, ever do that again without ringing first. My forehead still hurts from the toilets brush hitting me.

**Take three: Matt, I think I have a virus in my laptop.**  
First, Mello is a genius, just like me. He could have figured out that I would not find it logical that he got a virus, and moreover, that he couldn't get rid of it himself. I may be the one with the 'geek' sign above my head, Mello knows how to use a computer.  
Ok, I went with it just so he would take that damn dump thinking I was too busy repairing his laptop to notice and stop acting stupid, but it was the flush that actually had a virus and broke, flooding the bathroom and showing the evidence.

**Take four: Re-lax.**  
Ok. You all know what consequences an all-rice diet can have.  
Mello thought it was a good idea since it would block everything and he wouldn't have to go to the toilets everyday. Except that he got so constipated it became actually a problem, he was almost crying of pain.  
And you know what the doctor gave him? Yes: laxatives. Muahaha.

**Take five: Sweet music to my ears.**  
This was a basic one, but also one of the funniest.  
A CD, heavy metal preferably, the stereo at full volume, and Mello disappears in the bathroom.  
And, because he's lucky like that, I distinctively hear an awful fart just as a song ends. Epic fail. Or epic fart, as you like.

**Take six: Sleep tight, my dear.**  
It would have been a good one, this time. I'm a heavy sleeper, so I wouldn't hear anything.  
But I only sleep once I'm too tired to keep my eyes open while I'm playing so it's usually around 5am.  
Then it means Mello have to wait that long.  
He managed. Yes, he managed.  
But once I began snoring, he was in such a hurry that he tripped, knocked himself down on the toilets' door and fell unconscious on the ground.  
It woke me up, I brought him back to consciousness, and I was so worried he hurt himself bad that I couldn't go back to sleep. And he really needed to... poor Mello.

**Take seven: Can you hear me?**  
"Matt, I can't stand the god damn sounds of your game anymore!"  
It was a premiere since Mello had stood those sounds for years until now. That's only when he handed me earphones that I understood the stratagem. Okaaaaay Mello. Here we go again.  
Except that I hadn't plugged the earphones because I was waiting for a call so I just muted the sounds. Yes, I heard everything. Call included. And I answered my phone.  
And Mello hit me.

**Take eight: Let's send Matt buy groceries II**  
I left and didn't forget anything this time. I was out for half an hour, which was long enough for Mello to do his little affairs.  
Except that when I came back, he was pacing back and forth in the living room, waiting for me, half folded in two. He almost attacked the bag I was holding, ripped the toilet paper's plastic open, grabbed a roll and ran to the bathroom. Ah, we were out of toilet paper...


	20. So Overly Pissed ATM aka SOPA

_**Note:** heard of SOPA? If not, Google or Wikipedia are your friends :)_

* * *

"Mello!"  
"SHHHHHH!"  
"But Mello look..."  
"SHHHH! Don't pronounce my name you fucktard! Call me Michael from now on."  
"Wha... what? Mello I..."  
"MICHAEL! I AM MICHAEL! And hum... even if your alias is a common name, let's call you Miles from now on. You Miles, me Michael."  
"Are we playing Tarzan and Jane or what?"  
"Have you heard of SOPA?"  
"Well, yeah, I spend my time on the internet so it's obvious I would have heard about that..."  
"So?"  
"So what?"  
"Do you realise that we are copyrighted characters and therefore are subjected to this law if it was ever voted?"  
"What does it have to do with... oh!"  
"Yeah..."  
"Ok ok. Hello dear readers, my name's Miles, I am a sexy redhead with blue eyes, I like video games, I'm a heavy smoker, and the sexy kitten here... ouch!... is my boyfriend Michael, long blonde hair with icy eyes, and he wears leather and is addicted to chocolate. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. And any resemblance with existing fictional character by Ohba and Obata is even more purely coincidental."  
"I'm not quite sure this will be enough, Mat... Miles. What about signing one of the petitions online and forward the wikipedia article about SOPA to everyone you know?"  
"I don't think that pointing your gun to the readers is required, _Michael_."  
"Yeah, right. You can obviously be ok with that law. We won't hold a grudge against you for that."  
"So stop sulking."  
"I'm not."  
"Yes you are."  
"AM NOT!"  
"Dear readers, please. If Mel... Michael is sulking, that means no sex for me. You don't want that to happen. So go sign. I beg you."  
"Now that is an effective persuasion."


	21. Inner Hero

Mello had gotten home after a very bad day, and was trying to relax, sprawled on the couch, chocolate slowly melting on his tongue, his legs in Matt's lap, while the redhead was for once idle, lost in his thoughts.  
"Not playing?" Mello asked, a bit surprised at the unusual lack of device in his boyfriend's hands.  
"Nah." was all he got as an answer.  
Shrugging, he resumed savouring his chocolate bar.

"WHAT?" Mello yelled all of a sudden. Matt had been glancing at him several time after he had seemed to come back on earth, each time with a growing smirk.  
Matt turned to him with a full grin: "I thought you'd be Thor but no..."  
"I'd be what?" Mello slid in a seated position, ready to punch if the answer wasn't one he liked.  
"Of all the Avengers, I thought you'd be Thor, you know, blond, long hair, blue eyes, sexy as hell... but you're not..."  
Mello cut him: "I'm not what? Be careful with your choice of words Mattie."  
"Come on Mello, you're not exactly a mass of muscles, not like Thor I mean, because of course you have muscles and..." Matt was on a slippery path but he couldn't help but smirk.  
"Whatever, then which Avenger would I be? And if you say the chick I'll punch you." Mello's eyes turned to slits; waiting for Matt's answer.  
Matt stood up, and ran to the bedroom. "Hulk!" he yelled, before locking the door.  
"WHAT?" Mello jumped over the back of the couch and began to pound on the door, "Hulk? How the fuck can you compare me to that gigantic green booger?"  
"Do I really need to explain?" Matt squeaked from the other side of the door.

Mello breathed: "Okaaaaay. Get out. I won't punch you."  
"Sure?"  
"I'm not green anymore, you're safe."  
Matt peeped through a tiny slit of the door he had just opened before sliding out of the bedroom.  
Mello was back on the couch, brooding.  
The redhead sat at his previous place, and noticed that his boyfriend was actually starting to smirk.  
"Tony Stark. I am Tony Stark. It's obvious." said Matt, knowing where Mello's thoughts were actually going at that instant.  
"You wish."  
Matt whined: "Why not? He's a great techie, I am a great techie. He's a genius, I am a genius and..."  
"You're nowhere near his inflated ego. If anything, you're exactly the opposite." Mello stated.  
Matt stayed silent, now he was the one brooding.

Minutes passed, the clock ticking the only sound breaking the silence.  
"I'm totally Stark." Matt said suddenly, pouting.  
"You're Hawkeye. Definitely." Mello answered, crossing his legs.  
"Huh? This was the last I would have thought of..." Matt tried to figure out why Mello's choice set on the Barton guy, but he really had no clue.  
"First, you're the average guy with no superpowers but with amazing skills you only gained by yourself. Second, you're more of a background character, but you're indispensable AND you're even more mysterious and sexy because of that. And third..." Mello crawled on all four, pushing the redhead on the cushions of the couch, hovering over him, "you've got someone to fuck in the movie."

Mello slid his hand behind Matt's head, immediately engaging in a deep and wet kiss, before beginning to tug on his shirt.  
"And you say you're not the chick?" Matt mumbled in the kiss, his cheeky comment earning him a knee in the balls: "OUCH!"  
"Don't wake my green half Robin Hood."


	22. Grow Some

_**Note:** There's a little wink at Dlvvanzor here, because I'm just that happy that she posted a MxM oneshot XD (go read it!)_

* * *

Roger sighed at the sight of the scene in front of him. It wasn't unusual for the teens in here to fight. Actually, it was abnormal when they didn't.  
_Kids are kids_, he would say, and leave. He didn't even try to separate the students, he perfectly knew that they would resume the fight once he had his back turned.  
And he would certainly not separate those two.

Wammy's orphans were probably more sensitive than other kids due to all the issues that went with being parentless, so he just let go, whatever the reason was. It all got sorted out by itself most of the time anyway. From stolen sweets to broken toys, from hair pulling to punching, he had seen everything. He even met some special cases like that kid that got a branch stuck up her nose by her friend jealous over a boy, or when Ike got his sport shorts pulled down on his ankles in the middle of a tennis game, or when Lou came back from the library crying because C had eaten the last four pages of the novel she was reading so she would never know the ending, because she had ruined the suspense of the movie C was watching the week before... yeah, they were like all other kids, really, it was no big deal.

But Roger always, ALWAYS made sure to run away as fast as possible when it came to Matt and Mello fighting. Because no, he didn't want to know the reasons. They could as well kill each other, he still wouldn't want to know.  
So when he tripped on the border of the corridor's carpet, wanting to escape downstairs before he heard anything intelligible from the voices raising all of a sudden from the boys' dorm, voices that he recognized all too well, he knew that he'd need to book a session with his therapist _again_.

"I said no Mello! You're NOT putting your hand in my briefs and you're NOT tearing MY hairs to put in Near's food! Just use yours damnit!"  
"But Maaaatt, I don't have anyyyy!"


	23. Strawberry Fields Forever

Roger had taken radical measures against Mello's anger issues. Scolding, threatening, offering chocolate, yelling at him, punishing, nothing had worked. So Roger had decided to send Mello to a therapist. Watari had brought up the possibility that the therapist would need a therapist after seeing Mello, but since he couldn't come up with a better idea, so was it.

It was the fourth time this month that Mello visited the therapist, and already, as strange as it was, his constant agressivity had vanished.  
Roger, curious, decided to question the therapist, who wouldn't go against his patient's privacy. Which probably saved Roger himself from his own therapy (he had just gotten over the pubic hairs incident* and he really didn't need any more reason to consult).

The doctor suggested Mello to picture a vast field of wild flowers everytime he would feel the anger bubble in him. The stems softly swaying in the breeze, petals flying in the air, a cat coming to him, petting his soft fur, eating a chocolate icecream, anything that represented a calming image to the blond.

And Mello did picture what represented a calming image to him. Oh yes, he pictured it, the image of a vast field of wild flowers, with stems softly swaying in the breeze, petals flying in the air, a cat coming to...  
Scratch that.  
Matt coming to him, then simply coming, while Mello petted his dick, eating a chocolate icecream on his naked body, then fucking his brains out in the middle of that damn field.  
_That_ was calming. And stuffing Roger's mouth with the fucking flowers.

* * *

_* read previous chapter!_


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